This was the week to get to know me. Like any normal relationship, I had to go through the process of getting to know my likes and dislikes. However, the “Winter Blues” kicked in. I felt frumpy and just not myself.
I went from dressing up in the last week to wearing leggings and baggy shirts because I felt inadequate. Somehow, it affected my ability to start this journey. Nevertheless, I pushed through. In the craziness of it all, I found a way to make it into a learning opportunity for myself.
It is easy to give in. Hiding away is a behavior I use as a coping mechanism. I had to face the truth and give myself a pep talk. I had to channel my own Sasha Fierce (my alter-ego has no name) and kick myself in the butt.
I have a tendency to not accept happiness. Call me a pessimist, however, when I am happy something bad always happens. Talk about waiting for the other shoe to drop. It has only taken me 20 something years to learn that life is a balance act. Every happy moment comes with some sad moments that is what makes those moments of joy that much more precious.
This week challenged me. My anxiety was really kicking me down and I wallowed in self-pity. Right as I began writing a short script for the video and gathering my ideas for this blog post, I began to piece things together. I saw the negative behaviors in myself and I thought to myself; how can I write about beauty, style, and lifestyle yet feel this way? I was my own worst enemy. So I needed to also save myself and overcome this hurdle. Depression has a weird way of helping you stay in darkness. The day-to-day battle is exhausting.
In the end, I learned how I perceive myself in certain situations like social life and work. I do not have a good perception of myself. The only balance to that is that I feel great when I am with my family. So I am making it a goal to see myself in a positive light. Positive affirmations all the way!!
I am learning about myself and I must say it has been tough admitting the things I cannot accept about myself.
I do have one favor to ask of you my wonderful readers, if you have any positive affirmations comment them below. I can use all the help I can get.