Last Monday, I had a panic attack. It came out of nowhere. I was on my laptop watching YouTube videos and the next minute I was hyperventilating, wiping tears from my eyes as I clutched my chest. I felt so much pressure it was debilitating. Somehow, in the midst of the storm, I was able to put my laptop aside and lay on my floor facing the ceiling. As lay there looking up, I remembered something I read online about looking at objects around me to help calm me down. Staring at the ceiling focusing on the light bulb helped. Meanwhile, millions of thoughts raced through my mind.
The past. The present. The future. Failure. Success.
It was all too much. After what felt like an hour, my breathing slowly returned to normal. At some point during the chaos, Gizmo laid next to me. He could sense something was wrong and that was his way of helping. After the storm cleared, something switched within me. I came to a realization. If I wanted to have some semblance of control in my life, I needed to go back to the basics. I needed simplicity and to start being proactive about what I wanted in my life.
What did I do?
I went to bed early and got a good nights sleep. The next morning, I woke up and blogged. Reached out to other bloggers and began making moves to take control of my life. Creativity began to flow through me as soon as I set my mind to it. When I accepted that I was ready for change, I took control of it. By far one of the most annoying and helpful life lessons I learned from a mental illness. Since Monday, August 17th, plenty of things have happened both good and bad.
Yet I managed to get out of my own head. Through the madness there was some clarity.
I learned to accept that I have a say in my own life how I live it and who I allow in it.
Lastly, remember that you have say in your own life.
Leave any thoughts or comments below if this has happened to you. It would be great to talk to others who get it.