The past few weeks I have been experiencing the downward rollercoaster ride of depression and anxiety. As a result, I have neglected posting as frequently on my blog. So why tell my readers? I wanted to be honest and share with you that aspect of my life. I love fashion, beauty, and advocating for mental health. However, in order to keep me honest and to truly be an advocate, I needed to share this.
Not every single day or month is there a downward spiral. It comes by when it feels like it, medication and all. This fickle spiral controls me for that time. Soon afterwards, I am able to slowly crawl back to life. Most times, I fight to the best of my ability and win. This time it took a beating out of me. I stopped doing all of the things that I love because they felt like extra work. Worst of all, I loathed feeling that way. I could not help it.
For the most part, I keep others from knowing how bad it can get. This time it was complete isolation. It felt better being alone than being a drag around my friends enjoying their lives. As for my blog, the videos and posts I have blogged about had been planned for a while, so it was a matter of hitting submit. Being honest is not easy for me. I am already very critical of myself and this adds to it. Nevertheless, I know that in order to connect with others I have to be honest with myself. There’s no reason to hide this part of who I am. Through it all, I wanted to hold on to my sanity and creative outlet. I fought so hard to stay active on the blog. The same blog that one year ago helped me break out of my shell. I am glad I fought and came out the other side.
My blogs do not appeal to everyone, but they do to some and I want to keep it real for them. Now, I am going slowly coming back with a new-found strength. I will continue to pursue my creativity and passion and not allow my clinical depression and anxiety take that away from me.Thank you, for visiting my blog and reading this. Also, thank you to those who have reached out and been so supportive in regards to my journey.